A Relating Mindset
Part 1 & 2 Review: Intentful Relating
In parts 1 and 2 of this series we’ve been talking about the importance of relating well to benefit our business and ultimately improve relationship with clients or customers and potential ones. Relating clearly and getting our message/brand across were the focus earlier. In this last blog we’ll talk about the importance of listening in order to relate well so that people prefer doing business with us.
3 Listen Openly – Without Preconceptions Or Judgments
Do you know how I most often get a client’s attention, how I make them turn their head? I listen. In listening, I seek to understand where they are in their experience and what they need to take their business to the next level.
Here’s the interesting thing about listening: in order to listen effectively, you must have an open mindset. An open mindset requires that you hear clearly. Obvious, no doubt, and yet people tend to hear with filters more often than they hear clearly.
Is Your Listening Impaired?
When you are listening to music, are you like most of the rest of us? Do you like to hear your favorite songs through quality, clear speakers or headphones? Don’t you love for the sound to be so clear that you can pick up on tones and even emotions in sounds and lyrics?
Now that’s listening. Music has the ability to stir our souls and open our hearts – when we are moved by it because we are listening and can hear it clearly.
Yes, when we are listening openly, we can pick up on much more than the direct words a person is delivering- we can hear their excitement, pain, frustration and, often, we can pick up on what they are not saying.
On the other hand, when any filters are present, they taint the sounds we hear. Similar to hands over our ears to block some of the sound, people most often listen through their own filters which are made up of their own judgements, preconceptions or limiting beliefs.
As biz owners, an easy example to illustrate this presents itself when we look at what it’s like when you meet new potential business. It’s true, you have a certain “type” that is your ideal client, but some of your ideal clients won’t look the way you expect them to. Perhaps they will physically dress, behave or do something that doesn’t initially seem like it is your client “type”. You might be jumping to a conclusion about how they look or judging what they offer.
A girlfriend of mine and her husband began a cannabis coffee company a couple of years ago. Frankly, I felt that her husband had previously relied on her to support the family as he indulged in his habitual ways. However, when they told me that they had started this company, I let my preconceptions about him go. I allowed myself to see that this new business had the potential to bring a passion of his forward so that he could become the primary contributor in the family. I saw that this could improve his personal power and his confidence. Although I’m not that kind of coffee drinker, I listened openly and saw a brighter potential future for my girlfriend — and a benefit for patients who could receive legal prescriptions for their coffee. While this scenario had nothing to do with my business, it had everything to do with my friendship. By being open I allowed my friendship to be untainted because no preconceptions came into the conversations about their new business. Feeling supported and encouraged, our friends gave us samples instead!
Relationship are truly about your ability to relate, or connect with, another. In this 3 part series, I’ve given you 3 different ways to improve your relating-abilities: being clear, knowing yourself and your brand and listening openly.
The truth is that it doesn’t matter whether you are focusing on your business or your personal relationships, even intimate ones. It’s all the same because as you become more clear, know yourself and listen openly, every one of your relationships will improve. Such a mindset is sure to bring you greater success and, more importantly, personal joy and fulfillment in all of your life.